I was in my mother's house and before the decoder to start doing damage, I was seeing my first episode of Grey's Anatomy, I was not ever see an episode, but I must admit it's cute.
is the style of dr. House and ER, very realistic, especially with few frills. we say that the episode of dr. house, before Grey's was about a girl with a brother with muscular dystrophy ... was all too easy to remember.
then gray's a dele protagonists, doctor, must choose whether to become donatricedi a piece of liver to his father, reduced end-stage cirrhosis by ... also mention here was simple. among other things, the whole episode as a live motiv cancer of another hero! and I say to do ?????
think this evening has been made to mail me! a past life to help a relative died in my arms with muscular dystrophy, a father who is not a day goes by that I set on the wall for what I did until now, a mother who is recently out of hospital due to Malignant tumors of 5!
well ... I must say, it's as if I had made a strike!
the feelings experienced before the images that followed were terrible! back in time more or less recently, to bring out the skeletons found in my closet, that bad feeling. I've always had a terrible relationship with the memories, because I never liked to remember ... Unfortunately, at least in my life, the memories I have often made to refer to events not exactly beautiful, at times when I would like to find somewhere else ... but now are memories, and therefore should be forgotten.
how bad are ...
if I could reset the memory and delete them I would not mind at all if I could remove them, to pretend that there have ever been, maybe do the download on an external hard drive to my person, leave them in the memory and could not recover, how nice would rather be here, inside me, accompanied me every day and every night, often scares me a bit before bed and sometimes they make me sick ...
but what can I do? each of us has his own skeletons in the closet, these have occurred to me.
the end I feel very dr. house ... a person who always brings out the difficulties un'autoironia, crabby temper and a biting ways that resemble the doctor's most famous television. I never cared about the moral of those who have helped and help, I only ever bothered to cure, heal well and try to feel good ...
today, I realize that I no longer have that line between a situation of emergency and normal life, I realize I am so damn used to the emergency that I had a reason to life.
that bad feeling ... the only difference between me and house is that it does not torture anyone ... the caddy it (in this case my girlfriend is inevitable that a doctor) nor his closest friend, every time is subject to all the vexations of gregory.
I just hope to never end with a stick ...
however, are so well established that the diseases are now resigned, every day I think that if the phone is ringing, someone might feel bad, I know that things can not and should not be, but what can I do? ligabue would say: "This is my life, if you ask me for permission to enter ...", only that, precisely because so damn full of health problems in my life I have not ever let anyone ... only she, biljana ... Fortunately, that being foreign does not understand everything that happened to me, but perhaps understand very well, just pretends not to understand and help me the same ... as does the caddy with house.
at the end here I am ... alone in my room, I write my thoughts on a blog and would like to get away from myself ... but you can not, we must move forward, always forward ... I only hope that the situation will improve ...
okay for now ... for now I'm calm, I hope to continue to be pe ril 2011, I would like a year of quiet and boredom, I hope it is, because I have to turn off your brain and stay a little quiet, to devote myself and try to make peace with my past, because this is helping me tremendously to build my future.
0 comments:
Post a Comment